The Sun whore

Written on April 1, 2012

She crept up into his life like the morning Sun
Then hid behind the humongous glass monsters
He looked for her all day
And when he did find her, she dodged his gaze
Now she was burning hot
Unable to handle her then, he quietly embraced oblivion all day
While she pleasured many thriving on her touch.
When she began losing her sensuality in his land
She wrapped herself in irresistible colours of twilight
Exotic orange, purple, red, high heels and stars for glitter
Ready to dance away into the night
And while Mr Moon simply watched like a faithful
Marveling at her dark beauty now
Always the fear eating him up from within
Of the dawn that was to come
Every night she surrendered to his charm
Come morning she’d wander for more in town
The same old story every single day.

Things I’d really like to say

For those who don't already know, I'm a loner by choice. (Not like it matters you know it or not)

Not that I don't enjoy the company of willing friends, it's just that I like being by myself (may be with a book and/or the radio) better. I've been blessed with few but the most awesome people as friends, and there's nothing in the world I'd trade my relationship with them for. I have a problem with people in general, and I've stopped caring about people thinking I'm a snob of sorts. It's more mental than anything. And I don't think there's anything wrong or insane about watching a movie, eating out, taking endless walks all alone.

Coming to being a loner, it's an old habit to over think about everything and anything. There's constant banter in my head: imaginary conversations, nasty retorts, sarcastic expressions and even full-fledged arguments where I play both accused and accuser. Ya, I'm pretty jobless like that. There have always been some lines I'm constantly looking to shoot at people. Thank heavens it's all only in my head. Would have been without a job if I did utter one of them in the heat of the moment. Self-control and patience have helped me restrain violent emotional outbursts that could have been harmful. I fight wars in my head, and I don't underestimate either side. Crazy you may think. But "I swear I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested" (Dr Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory).

Every time something happens in the outside world, my head gets to work immediately, making arguments for and against itself starts working overtime. There are a few things that pop up almost every other day. I want to have a real chance to say each of these at least once before I die. And of course, I want them all to mean in the right context. Here's the wish list:

• I quit! Go do what you want!
• I am a scapegoat. I'm being targeted
• I was misquoted
• I swear, we're just friends
• You're fired!
• Shut up…just shut up… You had me at hello (sigh)
• Boy, you're so cute. Can I take you home?
• Hey would you feel bad if I said I never want to see you again?
• Do you really roll on the floor laughing your ass off when you say ROFLMAO?
• No comments

This list has potential. I'm only 24. I know there are many enemies to be made and even fiercer wars to be fought in the head.

Come back

Hit me like a breeze in deadly conflict

Threw all that was normal out of gear

I knew I had to hold back, lest I slip

Falling for you was always my greatest fear

Never gave anyone a chance to break my heart

You weren’t going to be the first one

Pardon, the temerity to assume you wanted to

But now, it’s not said yet gone

Done with my share of loving long ago

Rude, yes, and won’t make an exception so sore

Never broken a heart, but afraid I’ll break yours

Even if you insist, can’t hurt you anymore

May be this’ll go down the lanes of oblivion

Like most things in my lonely life

Wished for us to grow old together

For now, just hoping, haven’t caused you much strife.

Christmas tear

These lines were written on Christmas eve 2011. Found them scribbled on a diary, thought of posting them. Never too late...

The joy is brimming
The cheer is spreading
Soon it’ll be time to share that midnight kiss
But where are you?

A time when I want on you to dote
Comes to an end on a high note
Another promise-filled, fruitful year
But where are you?

The colour of yet another Christmas is blue
And New Year’s of a similar hue
One day it’ll all change
And yes, that is when I will finally find you

Rockstar & The Doors

Rockstar cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Nargis Fakhri,
Director: Imtiaz Ali
Rating: ***1/2

The Doors cast: Val Kilmer, Meg Ryan, Kyle MacLachlan, Frank Whaley, Kevin Dillon, Michael Wincott
Director: Oliver Stone
Rating: ****1/2

“…I think of myself as a sensitive, intelligent human being but with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most crucial moment...”

Says a rugged, bearded, pot-bellied Jim Morrison (Val Kilmer) in 1991 Oliver Stone-directed biopic The Doors. You can’t help but miss the mop-haired, charmingly cute boy obsessed with death, spirituality of an admirable type and talent worth rebelling for. This Jim is in stark contrast of the Jim we see early on.

For the uninitiated Jim Morrison was a part rock band The Doors that made waves in the late from 1964-1971 (the year Jim died aged 27! FYI Janice Joplin also died in the same year, at the same age). Band members Ray Manzarek, Robby Krieger and John Densmore did not always approve of Jim’s eccentric on-stage behaviour but it drove women crazy. We’re shown all this in the film written by Randall Jahnson and Oliver Stone.

Val Kilmer immortalised the 1960s star with fervour, induced by the alcohol, sex, lies and drugs. Of course on screen. That film, without a doubt is a masterpiece, a fictionalised (to an extent) yet believable account of the rise of rock band The Doors, and the rise and death of its lead vocalist Jim Morrison. Kilmer is killer.

In Imtiaz Ali’s Rockstar, Delhi boy Janardhan Jhakar (JJ in short and later Jordan) worships Jim Morrison. Played by the impeccable Ranbir Kapoor, JJ’s wall at home is plastered by posters of his icon. Desperate to imitate Jim, attitude, music et al, JJ is told “music comes from pain” by his mentor and later manager one Khataraji.

The vulnerable joker fakes falling in with a stunningly beautiful dancer from the college across the road. He approaches the college tota (I learnt this is what Delhiites call an ‘item’ of a woman) Heer, only to strike an unusual friendship with the otherwise suave, homely Kashmiri girl. He even helps in her wedding preparations and all the while there’s not a whiff of impending romance that could take life-altering turns. But, predictably, it does.

The makers of Rockstar stay away from the usual culprits causing degeneration of these rock star type: alcohol, drugs, abuse, sex. In contrast, Oliver Stone’s The Doors focuses on exactly that, apart from the other paramount factor: the music. We see how the iconic ‘C’mon baby light my fire’ got a life of its own, with a hazy promotion of free love, drug use and sex. We see Jim’s journey from a nobody to a sought-after rockstar to a degenerated alcoholic wanting to have no relationship with responsibility.

We miss that journey of Jordan’s musical genius, but we see/hear AR Rahman’s haunting score that is weaved beautifully in the screenplay of Rockstar. Being angry at the press, his fans is JJ’s nature — wonder what makes him so cross with life when his serious romantic side is seen only in a Czech field when he shares a passionate kiss with the now not-so happily married Heer. Fame hasn’t done much for inner peace, he admits. Brawls with the police are normal for JJ. The parallels between JJ and Jim are inevitable.

Stone’s baby-faced Jim is a rebel when it comes to his music. Here’s what he answers a journalist’s “What are your songs about Mr. Morrison?”

“...love death travel... revolt... we're interested in anything about disorder, chaos, especially activity which seems to have no meaning... I think when you make peace with authority, you become authority.” (Yes, I played this again and again so I could write it down and quote it).

JJ aspires to become Jim and while Rockstar, a love story at the heart, gets tedious after a point (the second half in particular), The Doors never does. Oliver Stone uses enough irresponsible behaviour to keep you hooked, apart from the love angle involving Jim Morrison’s longtime girlfriend Pamela Courson (played by Meg Ryan). Imtiaz Ali’s rock star is more about anger and pain, he doesn’t even drink. And if there’s any use of drugs, we never see it on screen. Ranbir is captivating, love or no love, drugs or no drugs.

And what on earth could be wrong with Nargis? With a face as pretty as hers she could get by anything, but her dialogue delivery and expressions are just misplaced. Babe, how about just sly smiles and killer looks with lips sealed from start to end? Sounds fun, no?

Rockstar’s music is heavenly. Apart from Ranbir, it’s only the second reason the film needs to be watched. Naadan Parindey, Kun Faaya Kun,Tum Ho and of course Saada Haq are best among the lot. From the maker of love stories Jab We Met (my all time favourite) and Love Aaj Kal, Rockstar could be just another story without the Rahman touch.

Rockstar deserves to be watched at least once. The Doors will need more than just 2.20 hours of your time.

Enjoy these trailers. Decide for yourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWrqjz7p8d8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk8T3UCKTew

The Diwali prayer

My life was beautiful until a week ago when they started the war against humanity.

Being the only child of the family, expectedly, mother’s love knew no bounds. It still doesn’t.

Still remember the day Daddy brought me home. I’m the kid who doesn’t like milk and biscuits. Meat, cold cuts and ice cream is the stuff for me.

Since the past five days, there has been utter chaos all over the area.

Mother’s been looking prettier than she always does. She’s wearing a saree today, diamond-studded earrings, bangles that clink to make a soothing symphony all day. Daddy’s wearing something something festive too. I’m guessing the dangerous thunder’s got something to do with celebration. Daddy says it’s the festival of lights – Diwali. No wonder the streets are wearing dresses of colourful lights and plastic. There’s one hanging outside our home too.

The neighbourhood kid tells me its everywhere, on the streets, the opposite building, even the otherwise silent church compound.

They sound like bombs, puke fire on their way and I’m guessing, get vanquished in the process. I heard Daddy talking about suicide bombers. I think they’re something like that. Whatever it is, I don’t like it. I’ve been hiding under the sofa all day.

Mother’s warmth has been guaranteeing some peace of mind and Daddy says he’ll give the naughty neighbourhood boys a piece of his mind. Daddy says they’re bursting something called “crackers”. It seems they dangerous to our surroundings and he used a word that sounded like pollination. Even my most favourite place, Shivaji Park is full of smoke and noise. It gives me a weird feeling in the throat. Waiting for all it to end.

If you are reading this, please help me spread the message. Take a moment and think of me and my friends. Is the noise really important? Why not celebrate with lights only? From what I see right now, the world looks beautiful when it wears these dresses made of shiny bulbs. I’m sure, minus the crackers, it’ll be only much more beautiful.

I’m sure I’m not the only dog hating it all. Let’s have a Happy Diwali in the truest sense.

PS: I’ve never had a pet and I’m not an animal lover. But right now, I don’t feel any less than the scared dog I saw at Shivaji Park yesterday. I’m not against festivals or celebrations. How about just keeping them traditional, enjoying the true meaning of the festival? Lighting up somebody/pet’s life by having a cracker-free Diwali? Why not start by burning one cracker less? I’m sure that cracker will make a world of a difference to many like me and those pets who suffer while the world celebrates.

My Damadamm letter to Himeshbhai

Film: Damadamm (U/A)

Cast: Himesh Reshammiya, Purbi Joshi, Sonal Sehgal & others
Director: Swapna Waghmare
Rating: Not required

Dear Himesh,

Hearty congratulations on the release of your fifth movie.

You must be one proud ‘actor’ to have pulled off the feat, with the tide always against your so-called talent. Yes, you can dismiss this claim as a lame generalisation made in thin air. But I’m yet to come across a person who has expressed any kind of love for your art. And I will wait.

This is not to undermine your ‘talent’ in any way but to laud your self-confidence.

I write to tell you I watched Damadamm and there were some doubts that immediately crept up. First, why was the film’s name changed from Ishq Unplugged to Damadamm? Secondly, why Damadamm? Thirdly, why you? I could go on. But I guess these are trivial things.

Let’s talk about the story. Your character is in a relationship with Shikha (Purbi Joshi) for five years. Isn’t that too long a time to suffer a “possessive, nagging” girlfriend? You seemed unhappy with the way she controlled your every move. Didn’t breaking up sound like a great idea considering how overdone the insecurity was? You find “freedom” when she’s away on a trip to hometown Indore.

You even croon:

I need my space
I want freedom
I need my space
I want freedom.

Hmm… In fact, being the music director, you made sure every song had some English lines like ‘No touching, no touching, only seeing only seeing’. May be someday, we the audience, will learn to forgive how off-key and forced it sounds. But for you, sir, we’ll put up with that too. So much for the love of the colonialists’ language and HR Musik. Let’s also keep the nasal bent for another day.

Then came the twist in the form of “hot, curvy” Sanjana (Sonal Sehgal) who happened to be your boss’s sister. She even takes an immediate liking to you. Hats off to the girl! So much courage, conviction and expression to show even an inkling of attraction to a man like you! For that matter, even Purbi (who’s met tremendous success with her comedy acts on reality shows) needs to be applauded for being so aptly plausible. Signs of a good actress.

How we all wish relationships were as easy and exes came running into our arms after bitter breakups. Only you can make it all look possible, believable and bearable. I must congratulate you again for sticking to the four expressions we saw in the Damadamm posters (scroll up). Oh yes, how can I forgot to add the eternal pout. It is okay for you to think it made you look ‘sexy’. Someone rightly said: ‘Who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.’ In that case, Himeshbhai you can keep pouting forever.

Do convey my good wishes to your director Swapna Waghmare. Her audacity to work with Himesh the actor is salute-worthy.

Oops! Amid all this sugar-coated ranting I forgot to wish you a Happy Diwali.

A humble request: Do refrain from ‘acting’ in such dumb-a-dumb disasters. There are only so many blasts our weak hearts can take during Diwali.

Yours faithfully

A fan that was never meant to be.

This post first appeared here: http://www.dnaindia.com/entertainment/review_review-damadamm-no-seeing-no-seeing_1603105