The fear of memory loss

Today something very strange happened. It’s not unusual for me to forget things.

I’ve learnt to address my memory issues. Every morning I make a list of things I have to do. These could include: Go to work, Pay phone bill, Train pass expires, Eyebrows, Call so-and-so, etc.

I know these are not extraordinary chores and at some point or the other each of us forget to do any of the above things. A while ago my phone had reminders like: Turn off milk gas, Rosy aunty unwell, Fill water at 9.30, Troy on HBO. Just the day before I couldn’t think of the word ‘sustainable’ while writing a review. I knew exactly what I wanted to say but still couldn’t.

Today I had to go to Andheri (yes, godforsaken Andheri) for a movie screening. Fun Republic and Andheri is general is where in a week at least one film is screened. I got off at the bus stop before CitiMall and kept walking.

I realised I couldn’t remember where I was going. I walked upto Infiniti Mall and back, trying hard to remember which lane I had to get in. With loud music in my ears I felt, for the first time, a fear. The fear that memory loss could bring. I saw my phone had a reminder SMS from the PR about the press show at 12 noon Fun Republic. Phew! Gathering my thoughts I tried calling my cousin who works in the same lane as Fun. No answer. Finally I asked a man where Fun was and he told me the left at the signal.

After reaching Fun I struggled to find the way to the special screening theatre.

There’s something really weird about not remembering things. Worse is not knowing where you, what you’re there for and how you got there. Hoping this was just a one off incident. Definitely don’t want a repeat of such a thing.

The smart-phone generation

Here's my Mumbai Muse that appeared in DNA on May 8

A friend was bragging about the apps on her new Android phone as we sat in a dark theatre waiting for the film to begin.

“The Shakespeare app gives me a list of sonnets, plays, etc of the Bard,” she said. “And I’m so addicted to the e-book app. So much so that I have developed a number and have to wear specs.”

“Oh,” I expressed wonder. “What else can your phone do?” I was quick to cash in on the opportunity to get a free lesson in new mobile-phone technology.

She said her friends shop online. Every time they come across something they like, they take pictures and send them to the others online. After some discussion, the prospective buyer makes his/her decision. Sounds like a cool way of operating. But is this all friendshipshave come to? I mean, whatever happened to those days when, in girlish excitement, we’d call each other andmeet up at Bandra or Lokhandwala to shop?

For me, a phone has always been (and always will be) a little box that fits into the palm of my hand, makes and receives calls, sends urgent texts, perhaps plays the radio, and has a fairly good memory to contain my ever-increasing contact list. A mobile phone for me carries out basic communication functions. Treating it like a convenience store doesn’t seem to be my cup of tea (maybe if I had a new-age phone, I would bask in the glory of what it could do for me).

But with life as it is now, everybody seems to be running to catch the next big thing. From the regular Nokia with radio to cameras to touch screens to QWERTY keypads to what not. When the BlackBerry arrived, everybody wanted a piece of it. And now it seems like everybody has one. A friend (who did not own a BB until a few days ago) even observed that many of our common teenage buddies managed to find partners after they got BlackBerries. How, you might ask. Young boys and girls sharing BB pins and chatting away all day have cemented relationships, it seems. A BB messenger is probably their channel for finding love, while for us it used to be religious and social events like weddings, etc.

I’m baffled while I wonder if anyone communicates the way we did just a few years ago. Hello/Hi have made way for Wassup. (I still don’t have an answer satisfactory enough for that question.) People don’t laugh the hahahahah way anymore, they only LOL/LMAO/ROTFLMAO/ and such like. You’re only as cool as the number of Facebook friends you have. That you keep in touch with only two of them is a different matter altogether.

I may sound like an old cynic who cannot see and appreciate the wonders the new-age mobile phones and internet have brought into our lives. But think about it. Don’t you miss the good ol’ days of meet and greet?

In short

Fool
Drool
Loner
Corner
Refuse
Recluse
Decent
Reticent
Absolutely magnificent :-D

The liar

You told you’d hold me forever
You said you’d never let me down
We would be together
In happiness and in every frown

You told me you’d come around
You said you’d always be mine
With you I felt safe and sound
Dates, dinners, cheese and wine

You told me we were meant to be
You said we’ll walk the aisle
T’was a lie, turns out to be
Hidden behind that sinister smile

I see you lied
Leaving me tongue-tied
And no matter where you go
I have to let you know
If you don’t find a love so true
Come back, I’ll be waiting for you

For you brother

Once in a while you’d call
Raving and ranting about one and all
Still don’t know what it was
That led to your sudden fall

Conspiracy theories did their rounds
Still my respect grows in leaps and bounds
And why not? Cause’ popularity touched your feet
Now I’m waiting and watching till we meet

Wish you were with us all
I’m still basking in the glory of that last call
You know you’re missed
And rightly so, you deserve
To get me to pen down
These few line with all verve.

Always loved. Agnel the Angel.

Finally a new phone!!!

For me cell phones have been plain apparatus to send and receive SMSs and make and receive calls. I have never been very fond of fancy, expensive phones. Though I like to see them in other people’s hands, it has never really been on my mind to own one. I’m not among those who can’t live without their phones. Many a times I don’t know which corner of the house my phone lies in. For the past couple of months I was using a cell phone that had a pregnant battery and was held together by colourful rubber bands. Every time I put it to my ear to answer or make a call, one thing ran across my mind: what if this battery suddenly blasts blowing away a part of my head and one ear? Dreadful!

Luckily, before a catastrophe of that sort could occur, I cried and cried and finally bought myself a new phone. I’m still trying to figure out the features apart from what I use my phone most for: keeping in touch. I’m taking classes from a cousin who has the same piece that’s the Nokia 3110c, about Bluetooth functions, music player etc etc. I hope I learn to operate the model soon and make use of all the features the new baby offers.

Why the double-standards?

The whole hash about decriminalising homosexuality and reconsideration of Section 377 of the Indian Penal code has got all and sundry suddenly coming out in support of “them” or totally against the Court order. We’ve had endless discussions over the lunch table, coffee shops and all the places we meet our friends or acquaintances about how “they” are also human and how Indians should open up to the supposed western concept of being gay or lesbian.

But how many of us are really, I mean really are for the right of the LGBT (Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community?
I don’t want to go far. Giving my own example, I have been just going with the flow of what discussions we’ve been having about homosexuality coming naturally to people just like heterosexuality. Even agreeing most times and “feeling” for “them”.
But I had to question my own outlook when I was thrown in a situation where all my so-called open-minded opinions were actually put to test (in a small way though)

Last night it had been pouring in Bombay city. Having finished very late from work, I reached Matunga station at 11.30pm. Just got off the train and a eunuch approached me from behind and asked for shelter in my umbrella. First thing that crossed my mind was what people would think if they saw me with a eunuch at this hour. I wanted to walk away behaving indifferent to what the eunuch was telling me. I hate saying no to help people in need, and that instinct won over my fear to give into “societal pressures”. I did give the eunuch “lift” till we reached the shelter of the bridge. The eunuch had a girl with him/her who was also not carrying an umbrella. He/she requested me to help the girl, to which the girl refused politely.
The girl called out to the eunuch and both ran up to the bridge and then on to the road getting drenched.

Where they disappeared after that, I don’t know. All I could think was how could I care a dime for people in who I did not even know who were on the train and feel sick about being spotted with a harmless eunuch in need of help? How could I be so judgmental all of a sudden after having come out in support of the judgment that decriminalised gay sex?

It just throws more and more questions every passing hour about how ready would I be to accept if a family member had to come out and say he/she was gay/lesbian? Would all the “open-minded” preaching be put to practice? Or would I make a ruckus like how some people are making out homosexuality to be a mental disorder? Why the double standards? I ask.