For those who don't already know, I'm a loner by choice. (Not like it matters you know it or not)
Not that I don't enjoy the company of willing friends, it's just that I like being by myself (may be with a book and/or the radio) better. I've been blessed with few but the most awesome people as friends, and there's nothing in the world I'd trade my relationship with them for. I have a problem with people in general, and I've stopped caring about people thinking I'm a snob of sorts. It's more mental than anything. And I don't think there's anything wrong or insane about watching a movie, eating out, taking endless walks all alone.
Coming to being a loner, it's an old habit to over think about everything and anything. There's constant banter in my head: imaginary conversations, nasty retorts, sarcastic expressions and even full-fledged arguments where I play both accused and accuser. Ya, I'm pretty jobless like that. There have always been some lines I'm constantly looking to shoot at people. Thank heavens it's all only in my head. Would have been without a job if I did utter one of them in the heat of the moment. Self-control and patience have helped me restrain violent emotional outbursts that could have been harmful. I fight wars in my head, and I don't underestimate either side. Crazy you may think. But "I swear I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested" (Dr Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory).
Every time something happens in the outside world, my head gets to work immediately, making arguments for and against itself starts working overtime. There are a few things that pop up almost every other day. I want to have a real chance to say each of these at least once before I die. And of course, I want them all to mean in the right context. Here's the wish list:
- I quit! Go do what you want!
- I am a scapegoat. I'm being targeted
- I was misquoted
- I swear, we're just friends
- You're fired!
- Shut up…just shut up… You had me at hello (sigh)
- Boy, you're so cute. Can I take you home?
- Hey would you feel bad if I said I never want to see you again?
- Do you really roll on the floor laughing your ass off when you say ROFLMAO?
- No comments
This list has potential. I'm only 24. I know there are many enemies to be made and even fiercer wars to be fought in the head.
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